Making the decision not to go visit my grandmother before she died or attend her funeral was one of the most difficult decisions of my life.  I agonized over it for a long time.  It broke my heart.  In the end, I decided that it was better for everyone if I just stayed away because the situation so heavily involved my mother.  
 I visited my grandmother's grave site while passing through Ohio.  It was a clear, sunny day as I drove toward the little cemetery in the middle of the country in NW Ohio, but as I approached a big, dark cloud rolled over.  It rained heavily for about 10 minutes just as I was arriving at the cemetery.  After all of those heavenly tears were shed, a big gorgeous rainbow came out and shined down on me while I said and spent time talking to my Nan.  That rainbow really meant alot to me.  Thanks, Nan.
 
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